Hikaru wrapped his jacket around himself a bit more snugly to block out the chill wind as he entered the large warehouse-like building. Today they were to record the music video for their new single, and he was grateful that wardrobe had chosen warm outfits for them. Of course, he realized once they got under the bright camera lights and started moving he'd be less appreciative.

He put his things down and began looking for his koibito, which turned out to be a much easy task with the acoustics in the open room. The gruff voice was easy to pick up, and he turned to see the month-younger man, as well as their tallest member, who now sported facial hair, singing and dancing and all-over acting silly in front of a camera. [1] A smile grazed his face as he considered how cute his curley-haired koi was, until he saw him hang playfully on Hideo's arm as the two laughed together.

He scowled. Generally, he wasn't the jealous type. He trusted his partner, usually, and was well aware that the other man was just fun loving. But lately...lately it was beginning to bother him. It hurt to see his lover hanging on other people. Was it asking too much that his partner not go around touching everyone? Was that selfish?

It was worse with Hideo. More and more, Hikaru was becoming suspicious of the tall man's intentions towards his partner. Especially since his sudden break-up with Daisuke. The younger singer obviously still had some feelings for his former koibito, though quite some time had passed, and always got a tad miffed when it looked like someone was getting close to Hideo. But when it was Nobutoshi near him...the short idol all out fumed. And normally he was fine and even friendly with the man, he just didn't seem to like those two being close. Hikaru couldn't help but wonder at the strange reaction.

A shouting out of "Hikari-chan!" and his lover flying up and glomping onto him interrupted his thoughts. "I missed you."

"Hai, hai," he responded as he loosened the too-tight hold the other had. "What were you doing to that poor camera man?"

"Maa," Nobutoshi smiled, "just playing around, me and Hide-chan."

The room went quiet.

Hideo's eyes widened a bit; this was new to him. Ryotaro spit the tea he was drinking out and stared at the couple, waiting for Hikaru's reaction and ready to break up a fight if necessary. From where he was posing to get a picture taken, Daisuke also looked. Then his face turned dark and he turned away, allowing the photographer to snap the now less than cheerful picture. [2]

Everyone watched, knowing about recent tension radiating from one half the couple, especially where their tallest member was concerned. This was not going to help any.

"What?" the singer blinked innocently, curious as to what he could have possibly done to get everyone's attention like that.

"Cute pet name," was all Hikaru said in a somewhat dark tone, before turning and walking away, leaving his lover standing alone. [3]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I just don't know what to do with him...."

The eldest member of E.M.U was in a restaurant, complaining to a long time friend and co-worker about his love life. He knew she wouldn't judge him, and felt comfortable unloading on her while she listened patiently, occasionally giving bits of advice. That's what friends were for, and she was one of the best.

"I've always known he was playful - that's one of the traits that attracted me to him in the first place. But sometimes he goes to far; sometimes he gets to all-out flirting. And he doesn't seem to realize, or care, how much it hurts me. I don't know how many times I've found him way too close with Hideo..." He glared a bit at the thought. "I know that one has eyes for him, and his...friendliness...doesn't help any. It hurts...."

With a soft look that only a woman is capable of, his friend sympathized with him. "I'm sorry you have to go through this," she began. "You don't deserve to be treated like that...to have to feel like that. You deserve the best happy things." Her soft, delicate hand covered his as she gazed at him. "If I were in Hayashi-san's place, I would never do that. I would be dedicated solely to you."

Hikaru said nothing as he took a moment to really look at the person before him. And, as he caught the faint scent of her perfume, he realized for the first time just how beautiful she really was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More rehearsal, more video shooting, more singing and dancing, more work...more time with other members, more time for Hikaru to watch his koibito flirt with said other members. It was getting tough.

He'd been doing a lot of thinking about his relationship, and had finally come to a decision. It hurt - God, did it hurt - but it was a decision he felt was right. He couldn't go on with the way things were now; the connection between him and his partner was becoming more and more tense, and he felt this was probably for the best.

Said partner was now sitting on his couch, staring out the window. "Look at it come down," he noted of the rain that poured outside. "I'd hate to be out in that." He looked at the other and smiled, saying in his own way that he was glad to be indoors with his lover.

He couldn't falter.

"'Toshi-chan..." [4] The older man sat on the couch next to his koibito and looked at his hands, unsure of where to start.

"Hmm?"

"There's...I...." He took a deep breath and steeled his nerves, trying not to think about how cute the other was with that confused look. "I've been thinking...maybe we should...end our relationship...for a while."

Nobutoshi's eyes widened and his head shook a bit unconsciously. "N-no...."

"It's been great and I really care for you," he continued, "but...you hurt me. You don't realize it, but you hurt me." He looked up at the other man, who was still shaking his head.

"I...I don't understand."

"The way you play around with and hang on other people!" Hikaru blurted out, then started again, slower. "I know you're just having fun, but it bothers me. Seeing you touching and leaning on other people..." images of his lover holding onto Hideo's arm while laughing with him, giving semi-flirtatious touches to his back and chest, flitted through his mind. "I can't handle it anymore."

Though his smile was more so, his frown was beautiful too, and there was a hint of desperation in the singer's brown eyes. "I can change. I'll be different and hang only on you."

Now it was the other's turn to shake his head; "no you can't. People can't change. And I wouldn't want you to. You're wonderful just the way you are, but some things weren't meant to be." He gave something of a cross between a soft smile and a smirk, "besides, your Hide-chan would be depressed if he didn't get to play with you."

Nobutoshi blinked. "Is that what this is about? He's just a friend; they all are. You know you're the only one for me."

A scowl flashed across Hikaru's face. The longer this drug on, the more it hurt, and the harder it was to fight off the temptation to forget everything and just take the other man into his arms. But that wouldn't solve anything, and he knew the whole thing would just start all over again. His lover would keep his hands to himself for a while, then grow bored and start messing around all over again. And then it would hurt even more and become even harder. "Well...you're not the only one for me," he looked at the other with a slight glare. "I've been seeing someone else for a little while now."

The younger man reeled back, as if he'd been slapped. "What?"

"She listens to my problems and is always there for me. She has eyes for only me; she's totally dedicated. She truly loves me."

Fists clenching and unclenching, Nobutoshi wanted to say something but found his voice stopped. His throat was too choked up to speak and he fought back the tears that threatened to fall. Not knowing what else to do, he quickly stood and grabbed his jacket, then exited the house. Out into the downpour.

Hikaru sat silently a moment after the door slammed shut. He did it.... 'It's for the best.' He had to remind himself out loud, "for...for the best." Then he buried his face in the couch cushion and let it all out, tears falling as hard as the rain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a surprise when the doorbell rang. Who on Earth would be out this time of night? And in the pouring rain? Not that he was in the middle of anything; just having a smoke, watching the video of their first concert, eyes following a certain someone. All-in-all...just wasting time until the next day, when he'd get to see his long-time crush again.

Hideo stood to answer the door, stubbing out his cigarette as he rose from the couch. He supposed a visitor would be a fine way to get through the evening, and wondered again who would be out at a time like this. Maybe Rumi or Shin'ichiro? Seeing a member of his other band would be nice. [5]

It turned out to be the last person in the world he'd have thought it would be. Someone who was supposed to be out with someone else right now.

Standing on his doorstep, soaked through to the bone from walking in the rain for who knows how long, looking at him with the saddest eyes he'd ever seen, was none other than said crush. Nobutoshi Hayashi.

They regarded each other a moment, Hideo more than a little shocked and worried. Then, wordlessly, for those eyes told everything, he stepped aside to give the other room to enter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm getting married."

"I figured you would."

"You're ok with that?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes," Hikaru looked over at his ex-lover, "you're my friend. I care about what you think."

"What I think won't change anything." Nobutoshi took a drag from his cigarette, exhaled, then flicked the remainder of the stick away, out into the empty parking lot. "But, if it means so much to you..." he hesitated, "I'm happy for you. You deserve good things. Good luck to you both."

"'Tosh-.... Hayashi-kun," he corrected himself, no longer feeling right with the intimate pet name. "I'm sorry for-"

He was interrupted by the other standing up from his place on the ground, brushing dust off his pants. As he began to walk away, a car that Hikaru hadn't noticed approaching drove up. One could see Hideo behind the steering wheel. Reaching it, before he opened the door, Nobutoshi turned around and looked at the older man, his friend. "I'm changing my name."

And with that, he was gone.

to be continued....

notes:

[1] Go get the 'Another Side of E.M.U' video.. ^,^ it's cute. "Dame ni.." ::laughs::

[2] Said picture...

[3] Ok, ok...I don't really think it'd be that big a deal. Nobutoshi gives everyone pet names (Dai-chan, Hikari-chan...even though Hikaru is older... Ryo-chan); I just needed something to create tension. ^^ I noticed in their first live (which I have the video of ^^) he was calling Hideo 'Ishikawa-kun', which is a very typical way to refer to guys in Japan. By Equal Live he was calling him 'Hide-chan'... I've always wondered when that first came about and what the others thought of it. ...more than likely they didn't think anything of it... ^^* Like I said...I just needed something for Hikaru to bicker about.

[4] No, Hikaru never called Nobutoshi that (that I know of.. ^^*). I just made it up. He needed a pet name. ::laughs:: I was going to use 'Nobu-chan'...but that's what I call him, and I'm selfish with my pet names. ^,^

[5] Hideo is also in the group RoST with Rumi Kasahara and Shin'ichiro Miki (of Weiß Kreuz fame). And...yes, that was going on at the same time E.M.U was together. RoST is still together, E.M.U is not. ...and that's your seiyuu band lesson for the day. ^^*

Ah...another chapter complete! And...it's all so cheezy!! ^^* But...awww, he ended up on his doorstep. ^__^ How sweet! I really liked that last part too. Oh, I amaze even myself.

And is it just me or did Daisuke and Ryotaro get shafted in this part? ^^* Actually...Ryo-sama isn't really in the story at all...... ^^ That's what he gets for being married.